I hated it when my parents would say that but now, I understand exactly why they did.
For those of you who are involved in our lives on a daily basis, you know that we've been struggling with a very stubborn toddler in our house. Two weeks ago, when I went to pick up Caden from his "school", I was told that he was hitting his friends and even pushed a little girl on the stairs. Now, I had known that Caden struggled with sharing and that at times he was aggressive, but I had no idea it had gotten that bad (mostly because when he is around other kids I'm generally not there).
I was horrified that my child acted this way. I cried the whole way to Kroger, then cried in the Kroger parking lot, and then decided to go home because I had cried all my make-up off. I cried because I felt as some level this was my fault and to some degree it is.
To be perfectly honest, I struggle with discipling Caden. I never thought I'd be the mom who had a hard time with Time Outs not to mention spanking! I had always seen myself as strong and to some degree stubborn myself. But when it comes to the little man in my life, I'm a total push-over. I have come to realize that this little guy has manipulated me for some time and because I just love him so much, I give in. He's so cute and charming and at times, even funny when he's in trouble.
So, after this earth-shattering event (well, it felt like that to a pregnant, tired momma), the crack-down on disciple has come. Caden has spent more time in Time Out than I could even quantify over the last two weeks. He's been in there for hitting the dog, not obeying, throwing a fit when he doesn't get his way, not sharing his toys, you name it. We have also been talking about being kind to our friends and that that means no hitting or pushing. He now says "no hit" or "no push" when we walk into his mothers day out program or church.
The lesson I've learned in all of this is that disciple is good (I knew that intellectually, but now I understand it practically). Caden's behavior has improved and he understands now that I mean what I say. Looking back, I wish I had been harder on him in the beginning. I let my love for him overshadow what was best for him. I'm thankful that I've learned my lesson early in the adventure of parenting, because letting this continue would have resulted in much greater consequences down the road.
This also brings greater clarity in regards to how God loves us. Sometimes God will disciple us when we sin, sometimes He lets us pay the natural consequences that result from our sin, and sometimes He rescues us from the pit that we have gotten ourselves into. God loves us so deeply that He wants what is the very BEST for us, not what makes us comfortable or happy.
God, help me to love my children the way You love me.
Help me to disciple them for their own good, even when it's hard for me.