Leave It On the Pavement - Thank you, Kristen

"Finish strong, finish strong…" This is what I kept telling myself once I rounded the corner onto University Avenue. I could see the Will Rogers Memorial Center. The end was close and over 2 hours into a run, I was ready to stop.  At this point, I was trying to focus on anything that didn't hurt like my arms. Once I could see the finish line, once I was only a few tenths from the finish, I sprinted. 

I left it all on the pavement. I left more than just sweat and energy, I left a year's worth of sweat and miles there. I left the pain of my nearly two year journey there. I left all the uncertainty, all the fear, all the questioning on that pavement. 

You see, running has become so much more than miles or times. I measure my runs in terms of relationship. When I started this crazy adventure, I had no idea what I was in for. After moving to Fort Worth and leaving everything I had known behind, I was lost. I was struggling, living in a tiny apartment with a new baby in a new city. I had a toddler who was confused and a husband who was trying to find his place in our new church. Those days were lonely and marked by lots of uncertainty. And in the midst of it, God brought me a beautiful friendship. 

Kristen was so easy to talk to, so open, so available. She has kids the same age as mine and even more than that…she pursued a relationship with me. She sought to know me. 

And when she approached me with the crazy idea to go running with her, I was reluctant. First, I didn't like running and second, I was slow and badly out of shape. But somehow that bubbly personality won me over and I began running with a marathoner….a marathoner!  She had run 26.2 miles! I couldn't even run one.

Our first run was basically in the dark because we had to run so early in the morning. She was so encouraging and gracious as I had to stop frequently. She never made me feel less than her and always encouraged me to do my best. She shared her passion for the sport, her reason for beginning, and how she connects to God while she runs. 

As the months went by a deep friendship emerged between us. We would run and talk about our families, our struggles, what God was doing in our lives. She would encourage me to go further, push more, never quit on myself. She believed in me.

When I signed up to run my first half marathon, I thought Kristen would be with me. But as it became clear that God was leading her family elsewhere, I knew I would be on my own. Almost all my long runs were by myself.

And since I didn't have Kristen with me, I would talk to God. I would ask Him for strength, endurance, and wisdom both physically and spiritually. I began to see such a connection between what I was doing with my physical body and my spiritual life. Something I know Kristen shares with me. God would speak to me through the music playing on my phone and bring to mind things I had been studying in His Word. It was a time to meditate on Him. 

During my longest run before the race, I forgot my gels (supplements). Now, you don't have to have gels to do long distance but they certainly help. I remember getting to mile 8 and feeling my body turn against me. I was so low on energy and I wanted to stop. But God reminded me that in order for me to be filled with His Spirit, I must first be empty. He cannot fill what is already full of self. Much like I felt then, empty of energy, that is how I should feel spiritually. I asked God to fill me with His Spirit and with His energy. I asked Him to help me finish this race physically but more importantly spiritually.

So when I crossed the finish line on February 23, I left myself on that road. I had emptied myself of things I had held on to for comfort and found a forever friend and way to connect with God like I've never experienced before.

First Half Marathon - Cowtown - February 2014

But the story doesn't end there…more races to come. Maybe even a full marathon someday. But for now, you can find me pounding the pavement, meditating on all that God is doing in my life.

And for those of you out there that think you don't have much to offer, you do. I'm sure Kristen had no idea how much she would come to mean to me or how she would change the way I look at my life.