Lazy summer days...in my dreams. No seriously, I dream of lazy summer days filled with napping under the sun next to the pool or better yet, the lake. Days where I could breeze through 4 magazines or an entire book in one sitting. Days filled with grilled foods and watermelon...oh and icecream.
Well, those are dreams and definitely not my reality. For some reason, I still hold out hope for summer to be lazy, slow, and filled with fun but as a mom of little ones, summer means chaos. Lots and lots of chaos. Loss of our schedule, late nights, and no consistent time with friends means cranky babies.
I love being with my family but I'm beginning to realize that I cannot be everything to them.
This week has been particularly hard because I've been with them all day, every day. Plus we have had events or activities every night which has meant bedtime has been later. The kids certainly didn't mind this but I have been craving "down" time for myself.
Selfishness reared it's ugly head last night, when, after a long day running errands, cooking dinner, and then family swimming, ended in tantrums and whining. I looked around to realize my house is destroyed dispite all my efforts to clean and my kids are cranky dispite my efforts to entertain them. I just wanted to rest, to be done for a moment but it seemed like I would never be done.
Today, I realize I must let go of my dreams of lazy summer days. That expectation is creating discontentment in my heart. I am in a season of life where lazy just can't be in my vocabulary and where slow just doesn't exist. Someday soon, my kids will be gone and I will have all the lazy and slow I could ever want and I'll probably be missing the crazy of today.
So today I'll settle for taking my kids to work with me, which means they play in the play place at Chick-fil-A and I work on my smart phone. And I'll count the my blessings of a flexible job, the freedom to have stay-at-home-mom problems, and technology which allows me to write a blog post and parent. Oh, and the blessing of a husband who let's me vent, puts me the bed, and cleans the house while I sleep!
I love my crazy, busy life and my energetic, spunky family.
